


my heart went oops

by sapphfics



Category: Legacies (TV 2018)
Genre: Drabble, Episode Fix-it, F/F, F/M, Implied/Referenced Sex, Jokes, Meta, Not Suitable/Safe For Work, handon r only in the tag bc it’s referenced sorry, this is a joke fic i don’t like the term crck fic so
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-04
Updated: 2020-02-04
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:48:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22552777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sapphfics/pseuds/sapphfics
Summary: “Lizzie!”Hope hops off of Landon’s limp dick and stands, smoothing down her skirt. “We were uhhh—“or: the only logical ending i could come up with to 2x11 because legacies writers hate making sense
Relationships: Hope Mikaelson/Lizzie Saltzman, Landon Kirby/Hope Mikaelson
Comments: 8
Kudos: 56





	my heart went oops

“Lizzie!” 

Hope hops off of Landon’s limp dick and stands, smoothing down her skirt. “We were uhhh—“

Lizzie sighs. She throws the weapon she’s been dragging in on a chair and breaks it in half. “Don’t care. Anyway, my uncle Kai, you know, the one who tried to murder Josie and I with an axe when we were kids, he was in the prison Alyssa sent us to. And so was my shitty manipulative vampire ex boyfriend. And Kai tried to kill my dad, me, and Josie. And what, pray tell, were you both doing? I mean, not that Landon would be much use anyway.” 

“We...we were...having sex in a bath,” Landon mutters. “And just now.” 

“Oh fucking fantastic!” Lizzie throws up her hands in frustration. “We nearly died and dad became a weird magic jailer but thank god Hope Mikaelson got some bad dick! Julie, I know you wanna fuck him, but can you please calm down!” 

“Who’s Julie?” Landon asks. Hope ignores him. It’s for the best. 

“Think you can do better?” Hope asks, raising an eyebrow. “Than Landon, I mean.”

“Mikaelson, I know I can,” Lizzie says. “Kiss me right now and I’ll prove it to you.” 

“Cocky,” Hope replies. “Love it. Landon, I’m leaving you.”

Hope kisses Lizzie full on the mouth, sliding her hand into Lizzie’s back pocket. Lizzie grabs her hand, Hope taking charge and leading her out of the room, but not before Lizzie throws a wink and a glare at Landon. 

Hope and Lizzie then have the best sex of their lives for the rest of their immortal lives, and none of the shit men ever talk to them again. 

The end.

**Author's Note:**

> once legacies let hope and lizzie interact for more than a second it’s over for h*ndon anyway wtf am i doing it’s 3am i’m so sorry this exists pls hmu on twitter @lesbosansastark or tumblr @sapphfics and tell me how much u hate me or w/e yes the title is a meme song


End file.
